It's interesting to think that in the same way you may be wary of the mob for writing something and posting publicly, readers may be wary of the mob for agreeing with it.
Hence, the private messages instead of public comments. I've certainly done that myself.
I often find it validating in a weird way when I get pushback on a piece I write - like it touched someone in a certain way. But I agree with your idea about not wanting to be inflammatory because that doesn’t make anyone better off
I grappled with the topic of “hills to die on” writing a recent book chapter – one of the hardest I’ve ever written, probably because I needed its hard lessons the most.
One of the best revelations to come out of the process was realizing you have a RIGHT to offend. It seems obvious, but how many of us are afraid to exercise that right? Just because someone is offended doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say or do something. Offense is subjective. They have a right to tell you they’re offended, and you have the right to consider it and decide to continue as you were.
We know the assholes get a kick out of offending, but because the “angels” are too paralyzed with fear to speak, we find ourselves in a world where we can’t find the truth.
Damn Nat. The timing of this is magical. I woke up with a slew of doubts on my morning pages about the piece I want to publish today because it feels too disagreeable. This is a nudge to share it in spite of that.
Recently I been pushing myself and forgiving myself for mistakes, which was the main reason I didn't post often. Many words to share... and I've started.
Wow Nat, you think being offensive is good?? Clearly something only a racist would say!!!
Kidding lol. The piece on raising kids changed a lot for me, so seriously, thank you for writing it. Still gotta work on the wife part first, but it decreased my anxiety around having kids SO much.
It's interesting to think that in the same way you may be wary of the mob for writing something and posting publicly, readers may be wary of the mob for agreeing with it.
Hence, the private messages instead of public comments. I've certainly done that myself.
Really highlights the issue.
Yes I think making likes on X private had a meaningful positive effect on the Overton window
I often find it validating in a weird way when I get pushback on a piece I write - like it touched someone in a certain way. But I agree with your idea about not wanting to be inflammatory because that doesn’t make anyone better off
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
Great post and a solid follow up. It’s encouraging to me to hear that having kids might not be as hard as you expect!
I grappled with the topic of “hills to die on” writing a recent book chapter – one of the hardest I’ve ever written, probably because I needed its hard lessons the most.
One of the best revelations to come out of the process was realizing you have a RIGHT to offend. It seems obvious, but how many of us are afraid to exercise that right? Just because someone is offended doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say or do something. Offense is subjective. They have a right to tell you they’re offended, and you have the right to consider it and decide to continue as you were.
We know the assholes get a kick out of offending, but because the “angels” are too paralyzed with fear to speak, we find ourselves in a world where we can’t find the truth.
Damn Nat. The timing of this is magical. I woke up with a slew of doubts on my morning pages about the piece I want to publish today because it feels too disagreeable. This is a nudge to share it in spite of that.
Needed to hear this, thanks.
Thanks Nat, I was needing to read this!
Recently I been pushing myself and forgiving myself for mistakes, which was the main reason I didn't post often. Many words to share... and I've started.
Warmly,
M. Carneiro
What I'm doing now: https://carneiro.pt/now
Wow Nat, you think being offensive is good?? Clearly something only a racist would say!!!
Kidding lol. The piece on raising kids changed a lot for me, so seriously, thank you for writing it. Still gotta work on the wife part first, but it decreased my anxiety around having kids SO much.